Falling In Love with Selling!

Selling and the topic of sales is interesting — and sometimes upsetting.
Most of us hate selling, and most of us don’t want to be known as a salesperson.

In fact, most people say things like,
“I’m not a salesperson, I’m an artist.”

Why is that?
Think about it.

Really, there is nothing going on in life except selling.
All the time. Everyone.
We are all selling.

My mentor used to say, “Life is a Guest Seminar!”
He meant that we are all selling something all the time — we are all holding our own guest seminar about something, and we are all selling to our guests.

That’s all there is.
Selling.

But we resist it.
We go out of our way to promise people that we aren’t doing it.

We try to protect our friends and family when we think that “selling” is happening to them.
We tell people who we think are doing it to us,
“Don’t sell me!”

I guess because I was quite young when I learned that “Life is a Guest Seminar,” I grew up loving selling — but not the kind of selling most people mean when they use the word.

Most people think selling is manipulation, pressure, coercion, pushing — where the person being sold is the victim and the person selling is the abuser.
And I don’t blame people for not liking that.

Most people look at the sales process like this:

The seller tells you what you want,
tells you what you need,
tells you what you can afford,
then sits back and asks:

“Are you going to buy it?”

Think about that.

When someone tells you what you want, what you need, and what you can afford, they are taking away your self-determined choices and making those choices for you.

That doesn’t feel good.
It feels like pressure, manipulation, and pushing.

Then they sit back and ask if you’re going to buy — and that feels scary, because we’re not always sure of our decisions.

Are they right?
Are others making the same decision?
Am I choosing the right way?

We worry.
We fret.
We aren’t sure of ourselves.

It’s uncomfortable being put in that position.

Then, if we say no, the salesperson responds by telling us we made the wrong decision — and resells us, again and again — until saying yes becomes less uncomfortable than saying no.

So we buy.

But we don’t feel good during the process.

And often, we lie about getting it — and just wait for a chance to cancel once they’re gone.

That’s the process people are talking about when they say they aren’t a salesperson, or that they aren’t good at selling.

That is the process people abhor, resist, and run from.

I coined a new word for selling, because the word selling itself brings up such negative feelings.

I use the word enrollment.

Enrollment has heart in the process.
It honors self-determination, choice, and the other person’s point of view.

Enrollment is exactly the opposite of the sales process described above.

In enrolling someone, you find out if they want it, need it, and can afford it.

You ask questions instead of telling them what they should feel:

• “Is this something you feel you would get value from?”

• “Is this something you feel you want and desire?”

• “Is this something you feel you can afford and would be willing to pay for?”

These questions lead a person inside to find their own answers.

However, when people go inside, they usually hit doubt, uncertainty, and fear before they reach their true answers.

So at the same time, you must be willing to receive their concerns.

Let them have those feelings.
Let them share them.
Acknowledge them.

Don’t try to talk them out of their concerns — that’s selling again.

Simply receive them:

“I understand.”
“Thank you.”
“I hear you.”
“I see.”

When concerns are acknowledged, they dissolve.
Then the person can go deeper and find their true answer.

Eventually, they’ll say either:

“Yes, I think I would get value,”
or
“No, I don’t want that.”

In enrollment, you are not trying to get a specific answer.

You are guiding them to discover their own answer — and you honor it, either way.

If the answer is yes, it is not your job to ask if they are going to buy.

They already told you they want it.

Your job is to tell them how to get it:

“Great — fill out this card.”
“Fantastic — write the check.”
“Fabulous — here’s how to pay.”

This may feel uncomfortable for you — but it is far better than making them uncomfortable.

You are serving them.

Another key difference in enrollment:

You share what you experienced, not what they will experience.

Don’t tell them what they’ll get.
Tell them what you got — or what a client, friend, or colleague experienced.

That’s sharing from the heart.

That’s not pushing.
That’s inspiring.

From there, they decide for themselves if it’s valuable.

Just try it.

Consider that everything is selling — stop resisting it.

Call it enrollment instead.

Inspire.
Share.
Honor self-determined choice.

Clear the space so people can talk themselves into what they want.

Soon, the results will be phenomenal.

And one day, you’ll fall in love with selling.